HELP!!!!! I think I have NPD (Narcissistic personality disorder) ? :(?

I don't know what to do people online say there is no cure and that it just gets worse. What the hell do I do? :( Like I have no clue how to describe it but I have no narcissistic supply and I am really sad and noting makes me happy. Like everything is black and with. The cup is not half empty, the water is poisoned! Like I feel trapped, alone, and cynical. I do want to be that way but IDK what to do. I don't do drugs or anything but I think I should start. I feel nothing, just emptiness.I think about my life and all is see is nothing to look forward to. I am 19 and go to school and I am 12 credits away from a degree, but what for? The only thing that keeps my heart beating is my vanity that burns with a desire that would scorch the sun. This pride gives me energy to live. People said workout but I run 12km everyday after work and lift weights but I still feel nothing. I have a hard time taking complements because I only see flaws and weakness. Help fix my broken heart full of sorrow...please... :'(